On the subject of all batteries go to heaven...

I love odd work conversations. I love odd conversations in general.

Today Matt pointed out that for most household items we claim that they "break," "fall apart," "stop working," etc. But not batteries. Batteries "die." Batteries can be said to be dead. How often have you said the remote wasn't working because the "batteries were dying." This lead me to the inquiry, "do batteries have souls?" What happens when they pass on? Is there a certain level of hell deigned just for old Duracells? Do Energizers get to go to heaven? 

I pondered these questions *waaaaaay* too much at work. Brian helped me out and pointed out that batteries live their lives essentially to die. Batteries are selfless. Sure, some of them are allowed long lives (I haven't checked the smoke alarm lately, but I'm pretty sure they're still kicking it), but slowly they sacrifice themselves to give "life" to something else. It's kind of noble of them. For their selfless nature, I have to assume heaven is full of D-cells and 9-volts.

But then I began to wonder. What about rechargables? Is that like reincarnation to them, or is this just a long purgatory. Do they yearn for the day that they can no longer hold a charge and can pass on to the next world? 

Anyway, I was really bored...